30 - 06 - 2026
Joepie!!! My website is online! This started as a portfolio assignment for school where I quickly made something using the sadgrl layout builder. I actually really liked the underlying vibe of the website, so last month I decided to throw out all the school crap and just use it for self-expression, inspired by the many cool, authentic websites you can find on Neocities. I worked on it super intensively for a few days, but then I stopped because I felt like I was copying other websites too much, which totally killed the creative process. So, I let it rest for a few weeks, and suddenly the spark hit me of what *I* actually wanted to do. And this is the result. I'm pretty happy with it, though of course, there's always room for improvement. For instance, my CSS (classes) are incredibly chaotic and not reusable at all, so maybe I should start with that someday xp.
This year, I finished the first year of my government-sponsored programming course. Although it was a really chill year on its own with relatively little stress, I've noticed that programming is totally not my thing. I have to force my brain to think in a specific way, which often gives me headaches. The imposed structure also feels so suffocating. I'm grateful that I learned a new skill and can now make this website, or help friends build one, for example. However, I really don't see myself doing this as a career (and definitely not full-time, which seems to be the only option). Frying my brain, stress over deadlines, sitting in a chair for 8 hours, and having no time left for soul-feeding activities—that is just not the move. I'm thinking of going back to a part-time job that is less mentally demanding. I'll see whether I'll start the second year or not, update in the next blog post???
Now I'm going to fix my fridge, chill for a bit, make a new Ram Dass sticker, and play some games. Look at my cute little cats Mila & Odin <3333. And listen to this Fish on the Sand cover by Allah-Las!